come what may!

Unspoken Truth

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:06:29 GMT

Have you discovered the beginning, that you ask about the end?

Joanne is the answer...but what is the question? Perhaps I'm posting this love blog: the best I can do. I've been setting for this a lot for too long, I guess. And I'll never try to seek understanding from all persons that I've hurt for loving her. I love her beyond all reasons. In my diverse mind, I have loved her 10 times longer than I've loved someone else. Is it an illusion? She lives in my body, we're together in some real way, when all along, her heart beats in her own chest, pumping out her time, and that is something I can't touch. I'm happy...I have my own tribe. I belong to a tribe. I've touched the life of the imagination...the real life.

Why do I love JDC as I do? It becomes a question to which I crave for answers, perhaps to reassure myself of something...perhaps out of something...the hallmark of hopeless lovers. I feel absolutely hollow, like someone carved me out like a pumpkin...but not every time I talk with her.

Brothers or sisters, kung sino man ang ma in-love sa kanya, (past, present or future), wouldn't you want her just to be who she is? If I were granted a vision, I've always thought, I'd just want her to be happy.. successful...contented.

It's hard to let go of the present if we really don't have the past.

I'm Kiel...it's built into my name.

Beyond Forgetting

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 14:33:00 GMT

For a moment I thought I could forget you. For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart, I thought the past could no longer haunt me � nor hurt me. How wrong I was!

For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part Of me as life itself. And you are part of that life. You are so much a part of me � of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth, and my ambitions � that in all my tasks I can�t help remembering you. Many
little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came. And would my pride mock my real feelings?

Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face, be lost among the deepening shadows?

I have wanted to be alone.

I thought I could forget you in silence and in song. And yet I remembered. For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once beautiful, the once happy world such as ours?

I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung. I cannot sing it without you. The song when sung alone will lose essence of its tune, because you and I had been one.

I wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.

Can�t you understand? Can�t you define the depth, and the tenderness of my feelings towards you? Yes, can�t you see how I suffer in this ever darkness without you?

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference. But silence, my dear, is the language of the heart. How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone? But perhaps you didn�t understand.

Remember, I came, because the gnawing loneliness is there and will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is hear, until the silence is understood�until you come to me again.

For you alone can blend music and memory into one consuming ecstasy. You Alone.

overcast

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 17:42:55 GMT

Overcast

I've walk the earth, harrow the waters
I've got the night, the spine of the stars
To look in the fields forever unmuch
In a strong yellow of a shadows touch

I lost the time in a day like no other
I found the darkness in a line of gravel
Nothing to blow, no mortal to fall
Leaving the call in a winds crawl

I drink its wine, listen to the sun
I climb the spirit of its frozen time
Not an end for the breath of summer
The color of sorrow...
a fool to remember!

ohh life!

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 05:05:58 GMT

"I am spiderman and will always be spiderman...and we can never be..."

Episode Two

Sat, 19 Jun 2004 06:55:16 GMT

It was June 19, 2001. I was then hesitant to attend the second day of school.  As I expect that it will be an ordinary, long, and tiresome Tuesday. I believe that only unorthodox professors conduct classes on the first week of a semester. It's not really normal for me to attend the first few days of school. For practical reasons of a working student like me, I take the advantage of my allowable absences before I report to my instructors.

But for a change, that date was different.  I have no reason to skipped my Management 15 class. My employer permitted me to have an indefinite study leave in order to complete my BS Accountancy degree.  It has long been over due.

So there was me, finally free from that pathetic magazines. I'm done with editing and conformed to auditing.

It was an eccentric Tuesday night class. Unbelievably, I attended the second day for Management 15. I met familiar faces and new classmates. I was impressed with my instructor when I learned that he was present on the first day (Monday) and even arranged already a seat plan for our section. As usual , I was situated at the last row beside that monstrous aircon unit.

While waiting for our professor, I was contemplating on my chair when I saw this girl. It was the first time that I saw her in school. For a moment I observed every gestures she made. All the movements and swings of her body, in every angle and degree, in every expression of her pretty face, her beautiful long hair...just everthing in this girl. I told myself that she could not be real. An angel, a goddess or a fairy?

The feelings was already there and I tried to denied it! I closed my eyes, prayed, and tried to forget everything I saw.

As the 90 minutes of the subject have passed, I did not bother to know her name. I know that it's not right and just let the day end and forget about it!

But the more I denied my emotions, the more it haunted me. Then came another week, a Monday class. I tried not to find and look at her. I tried to evade chances of seeing her.  And when I just thought that I was prevailing on... 'til I needed something to attached my picture with my index card. Nobody in the class has paste or glue. But one of our classmates borrowed stapler to somebody for me. And that somebody was her. That was when I knew her name and lingered in my ears until now..."Joanne".

I returned the stapler and said "thank you". I've got no replies and no reactions from her. But it was one of the happiest moments in my life.

Then came the next days and class meetings. I could not helped it, she captured my heart. She is truely one of the perfect creations that the universe has.

There was a time when I saw her in the stairs of the second floor of the building as she was reviewing for a quiz for her Computer 3 subject.  I know that she looked at me secretly and tried to hide her sweet smiles. This is just one of the many unexplainable moments that followed more.

There were many "by-chances" situations that we encountered. They call it coincidence, serendipity, or simply "nagkataon" or maybe "fate"?. It was certainly unexplainable situations that I was even misinterpreted as stalker.

She knows it. I believe that there is a great force that is guiding us. If she can only accept it, then she can clearly see the spirit of love that controls everything between us.

I will never forget those brief moments everytime I saw her. They are well documented in my heart and and in my spirit!

Where ever you are now...if the future is really for us...and if that "by-chance" situation will find us again, then it is meant to lasts!

to joanne dear!

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 11:10:22 GMT

Kumusta ka na kaya? I've been waiting for you to visit this blog and atleast make a comment! There are so many things that I wanted to tell you personally...kaya lang di talaga pwede! Marami tayong restrictions...but anyway my feelings will never ever change! I will always love you...for the rest of my life!

*****************

Once upon a time, there was an island where all
the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all
of the others including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that
the island would sink, so all repaired their
boats and left. Love was the only one who
stayed. Love wanted to persevere until the last
possible moment. When the island was almost
sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat.
Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No I can't....there is a lot
of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place
for you here."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing
by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help
me!" "I can't help you Love, You are all wet and
might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for
help, "Sadness let me go with
you." "Oh.....Love, I am so sad that I need to
be my myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so
happy that she did not even hear when Love
called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will
take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed
and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the
elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went
her own way. Love realizing how much he owed the
elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who
helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and
answered, "Because only Time is capable of
understanding how great Love is."

lately...my sun doesn't shine...without you!

Tue, 19 Jun 2001 02:30:00 GMT

It feels like a lifetime,
a thousand days have passed by
Since I held you close to me
If I could see that smile from my friend
I know that I could live again
I need you here with me

Heaven knows what to say
Even though for right now you're so far away
I hope and I pray
Somewhere in your heart I'll always stay

Girl, lately my sun doesn't shine without you
Never noticed what it feels like to be without you
Feels like I took my last step and my last breath
in my life ending
Had to say just what I was feeling, girl
�Cause my sun doesn't shine, sun doesn't shine
without you

This is more for me than for you
Girl, I finally see there's no substitute
For what we have
Do you know how much I love you

Heaven knows what to say
Even though for right now you're so far away
Gonna tell you and show you
Do whatever I can do to get back to you

Girl, lately my sun doesn't shine without you
Never noticed what it feels like to be without you
Feels like I took my last step and my last breath
in my life ending
Had to say just what I was feeling, girl
�Cause my sun doesn't shine, sun doesn't shine
without you

jdc '02
the love of my life...the girl of my dreams...and the reason for my existence!

love

people say being in love is so nice
giving such feeling can never be describe
inspiring you in everything you do
sometimes your not aware, it changes you

love, simple word but nobody can explain
for you cannot understand the feeling you'll gain
the happiness that brings you to heaven
the pain it will caused puts you into grave

falling in love is like ur in a cloud nine
it gives you smile, a lasting smile
but if a tear falls, your heart breaks
for there is no love without pain

it gives melody to your ear
a soft music you will love to hear
to stumble and get hurt is your fear
in the name of love you'll shed a tear!!!!